you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
