So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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