Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
