Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When are your genitals available?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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