My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
