she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize