why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
