I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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