I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
