I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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