she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
