If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish you could order shots online.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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