bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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