It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize