The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
