: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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