After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
