my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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