she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
