And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
