i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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