the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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