The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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