Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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