im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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