she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
