Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
