Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize