If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
