I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
