Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
