I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
