dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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