okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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