Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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