Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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