:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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