There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
