i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
