Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
