So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
