Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
