There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
