is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
