i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
