please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
