hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
