I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
