Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
