Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
