My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
