Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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