That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
