just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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