I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
