i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
