he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
