She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
