She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
