I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize