The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
