Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
foreskin is a definite game changer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
