i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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