What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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