She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This is the high leading the old right now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
