So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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